Rapture
by Relatively Unknown
Summary: A short, dark vignette of Beast Boy and the darkness within...


**A/N**: I told myself I wouldn't post to this site anymore, but, as usual, I didn't listen.

Things never do seem to work out like that.

It didn't come out as dark as I had wished, but I'll save that for another time. Of course the character is Beast Boy, and for some reason, when he became that Man-Beast, I instantly liked him all the more for it. The darkness within, well... Let's just say it's something I can relate to.

I should mention that I have a strong dislike-- actually, a true hatred-- of Terra, but I wrote her in because majority of fans like her or at least tolerate her. Note, though, I make no mention of romance, because I don't think I could write that convincingly, nor without a great deal of sarcasm and spite.

Despite all this,

Enjoy.

* * *

_He peered out of his door and glanced into the darkened hallway._

_Silence._

_Smirking to himself, he crept out into the shadows and softly traversed the path that led through an inconspicuous door, up a narrow stairwell, and out onto the roof of the tower. He took a deep breath as he emerged into the night air; a gentle purr rumbled in his chest as he felt his body tingle from the tender breeze that blew through his fur. He turned and closed the door behind him, then with a glint in his eye, walked to the edge._

_The night was clear, the sky a midnight velvet with thousands of star pricklings scattered throughout it. There was once a time when he hated the night, was even afraid of it... Then, things changed. He changed. Everything changed..._

_It began after Terra died. With her he had found a kindred soul, someone who didn't need to ask to understand or to accept. He was as he was, and that was perfectly fine with her. It worked for him, too, because that was his nature; for, how could he ask and judge another when he still had trouble looking at himself in the mirror?_

_Then, just as their mutual understand was established, she was gone. She had been lost for so long, lost and confused, that in the end it destroyed her. She hadn't been able to make a decision, always letting life do it for her, up until that fateful moment. When the walls came down and there was no escape, she finally chose. She chose what she had known for the briefest of spell over what she had known her whole life._

_And that, he knew, made all the difference._

_Even so, he couldn't help the despair he felt. Deep inside, where once bubbled fun and laughter, only resided a hollowness that seemed to grow with every passing day and every half-attempt at a comforting gesture. He felt no ill will towards the others; how could he? They did not understand. They couldn't._

_Time came and went, and unable to do anything else, he moved on. The hollowness was eating him alive, but what did it matter? He knew that he would never meet another Terra, another soul that understood him so well. Why put forth the effort to be something he couldn't, when-- for a flash-- he didn't need to, and still all was right around him? Why?_

_The answer was simple. There was no reason to._

_As time kept coming, Terra became a sweet memory, but one that came with less and less frequency. He healed. Then, just when he was ready to face everything as he was... It came._

_The beast._

_The monster._

_The darkness._

_It came, and with it came intense feelings and sensations that he had only dreamt of before. It was then that the darkness became his savior and his ally, ready to blanket him in shadows and wrap him in the night. He couldn't remember what had happened when he was the Man-Beast, but he could remember how it felt, how it tasted and smelled, how the power that was within his grasp overload his mind and ensnare his senses. It felt as if he had been deep underwater all of his life, and then with a sudden force, was pushed up into the air and able to take that first, exhilarating breath._

_Those were memories he liked to lose himself in, just blissfully recalling every detail and letting it wash over him, carrying away the world and everything in it. For that pithiest of seconds, he was alive, truly and utterly **alive**._

_Then, with a harsh clarity, everything comes rushing back, and he is left with that hollowness inside that will never wane. The only relief he had were those short seconds, those short, beautiful seconds that he would, for the rest of his life, crave. He was drowning deep under the water again, the tantalizing air and its brilliance and intensity just out of reach above him._

_For now, there was nothing he could do about it. He would have to bide time's delay and wait, patiently, for that next breath of vitality. And when it came, it would take all the hounds and demons of hell and beyond to make him give it up. He had tasted the forbidden fruit, and as frightening and ghastly as it was to be that Man-Beast, he only wanted **more**..._

_The beast was still within him; he could feel it when they were battle and it cried to be released and enjoy the thrill of the hunt. And, oh, did he want to let it loose upon it all, the insanity and viciousness, the destruction and ecstasy, would be unbound and all of the world would know... understand... accept..._

_He knew that until that instant came, he would have to wait, calm and patient, and dream, just dream about the serene, passionate rapture that he would be in. And dream he did, so lost in the fantasies of distorted memories and senses._

_He would wait..._

_But when that instant came and was upon them all, when he was a true child of the night and the darkness, one taken in so deep that not even Raven could comprehend..._

_God have mercy on those that crossed his path._


End file.
